Destined to Fade
by Blinded HP
Summary: At first it was just a dream – or so he thought. Then it became real. As Harry found himself on the outskirts of Spinners end, he decided to swallow his pride and ask for help.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Destined to fade

**Summary:** At first it was just a dream – or so he thought. Then it became real. As Harry found himself on the outskirts of Spinners end, he decided to swallow his pride and ask for help.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warnings:**Spoilers for all the books. Mention of slash pairing. Creature!Harry. Reference to non-con and paedophilia

**Author's Note:**In this fic, Harry had to return to the Dursley's after the final battle to ensure that the blood protection would last until all the death eaters had been rounded up.

**Destined to fade**

_He was walking from Madam Malkin's towards the Leaky Cauldron after spending the better part of the afternoon in various shops around the alley._

_A soft whistling sound reached his ears but even as he surreptitiously looked around, he could not find the source of the whistling. The sound did not grow in volume but for some reason he got the impression that it did increase in strength – as if more than one person or item was whistling._

_As panic set in, Harry hurried his footsteps but before he could reach his destination, strange warmth enveloped him and he knew no more__._

Sitting up with a gasp, Harry looked around his room wildly before plopping back onto his bed. He was at the Dursley's, as he was each summer but he consoled himself with the knowledge that this would be his last.

This was the second time he woke up from such a nightmare although the first one had him returning from the Burrow after a Sunday lunch where this same warmth surrounded him and he then woke up in his bed at the Dursley's.

Harry was pretty sure that it was only a dream because it certainly felt like he just woke up from a nightmare but as he looked around his room, he could see the packages he bought in Diagon Alley scattered on the floor and could not remember how he got home or into bed. For that matter, he was still in the same clothes as the day before!

Heaving a great sigh and extricating himself from the bedding, he pulled out some new clothes for the day and set out for a shower.

There was something seriously wrong with him. He felt light headed and nauseous this morning and after finally acknowledging that what happened to him might not in fact have been a dream, he was more than a little freaked out.

Drying his hair with a towel, Harry quickly mopped up any excess water on the floor – his aunt would take a pan to his head if she found the place anything less than pristine. After brushing his teeth, Harry made his way towards the kitchen where he began preparations for breakfast, knowing that his uncle and cousin would be down in twenty minutes.

The smell of eggs, toast and pork sausages made his stomach growl and Harry carefully listened for any noise that would indicate that the rest of the residents were up and about. Hearing nothing, Harry swiftly took a piece of toast and a sausage and devoured it within a minute.

Leaving the rest of the food out in the precise way his aunt expected of him, Harry exited out the back door and made his way toward the park.

It was a truly beautiful day and the soft chirping of birds accompanied Harry as he strolled down the road.

The whistling sound he remembered from his dreams now reached his ears and Harry stopped in his tracks. This was not normal. Hearing sounds and finding yourself back in your bed with no knowledge of how you got there was NOT normal, even by Wizarding standards.

The sound intensified and Harry clasped his ears as he felt the warmth envelop him.

* * *

><p>The feeling of grass tickled his nose and Harry opened his eyes to the deep blue sky. This time, he did not wake to find himself in his bed but instead found himself outside a familiar looking home in a muggle neighbourhood.<p>

Spinner's end looked just as Harry remembered it. Snape had survived Nagini's bite after Hermione had quickly and efficiently forced a Bezoar down his throat when she came upon Harry in the shack. Although it had been more than two months since the final battle, Harry had not seen Snape in person after receiving the memories that changed everything for him.

His testimony at Snape's trial had ensured that the whole truth was revealed and Severus Snape had been hailed as a true war hero and been rewarded with an 'Order of Merlin: Second Class' as well as a 'Thank you' gift of one million gallons.

Harry shakily got to his feet, fighting back the nausea and dizziness as he slowly made his way towards the front door of his once most hated professor.

Gathering up all the courage his house was so famous for, Harry knocked on the door.

He could hear the scraping of a chair and soft footfalls before the door was wrenched open with a disgruntled _What!_

Looking into Severus Snape's face Harry had to work hard to keep his expression blank. The man in front of him did not look like the Professor Harry remembered from his school years. The man's hair fell in silky waves to his shoulders and although Harry could see a faint oily sheen to it, it was not nearly as greasy as he remembered.

The man's face was not lined with stress and vows to keep but was relaxed except for the sneer that crossed it as soon as Snape recognised him.

"Er.. well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here professor, but…"

"Good, then get back on your way to wherever you came from."

The door closed with a snap and Harry stared with resignation at it. He knew better than to expect the man to help him. Knew better than to expect help from anyone really – except maybe Ron and Hermione, they would help whenever they could.

Repressing the desire to kick the bastard's door in, Harry heaved a sigh and turned back, hoping that the Night bus would answer his call all the way out here.

As he disembarked back on Privet Drive, Harry wondered once again what exactly was wrong with him. Although he had not yet recognised any other side effects from whatever was happening to him, he did not think that first dreaming and then actually experiencing these things was the worst that would happen.

Harry cringed as his uncle opened the door with a furious face and knew that tonight would be a VERY long night.

* * *

><p>Not having access to the Hogwarts library was a huge obstacle in Harry's quest for knowledge. Asking Hermione what she now did when she needed to do research would spark too many questions that Harry was not yet ready to answer.<p>

The local library in Surrey had proved useless in his quest and Harry now found his way towards London with the hope that the muggle library there would yield more answers.

His luck was actually holding as he found that the public library had a wizarding section above the muggle library and Harry made his way there with his hopes rising.

He did not know exactly what he was searching for but concluded that it would either be in a medical book or a book on creatures. He was pretty sure than normal wizards and witches could not do this to him but maybe a creature could? After all, a basilisk could kill with a single look. What's to say that a creature could not transport someone from one place to another without their consent?

The medical books he found was fewer in numbers than the creature books so Harry looked through them first.

After a week of commuting back and forth to London, Harry was getting very despondent. He had not found anything with even the slightest similarity to what was happening to him in any of the medical books. He was about a quarter through the creature books now and vowed to himself that if he did not find anything after perusing all the creature books he would enlist Hermione's help.

The librarian gave him a smile as he entered, having gotten used to seeing him every day for the last week.

He found the book he was last browsing through and continued where he stopped the day before.

A section in the book about Phoenixes caught his attention and Harry read through it quickly. The description of what a phoenix went through before learning control was very similar to what Harry went through and he felt relief at finally finding something that could explain what he was going through.

Apparently there was a phoenix out there that wanted to transport him from place to place – but why?

* * *

><p>"Fawkes?" Harry called softly as he gingerly sat on the bed. He'd arrived home after his uncle and the consequence was a thorough lashing over his backside.<p>

A bright flash heralded the arrival of the magnificent phoenix and Harry gave a pleased smile at seeing the bird.

"Hey Fawkes. I'm glad you came when I called, I wasn't sure if it would work or not…"

Fawkes gave a little trill and Harry's spirit lifted a bit.

"I've been having some trouble recently and hoped you would be able to help. You see, I've been waking up in my bed after what felt like a nightmare where I hear a whistling in my ear before a warm feeling surrounds me and I blank out. I've read in a book that something similar to this happens to young phoenixes – are you doing this to me, or another phoenix?"

Harry felt a right idiot talking to the bird but having no other leads, thought it was his best chance in finding an answer.

Fawkes looked hard at him before giving a short trill and shaking his head – Harry was fairly sure it was the shake of a head.

"Oh, well, thanks Fawkes, guess it is back to the books now."

Fawkes gave another little trill and shake of his head before giving a mournful trill at not being able to give a more understandable answer.

"What is it Fawkes? Am I wrong to go back to researching?"

Another trill and shake with a mournful echo and Harry didn't even know which question Fawkes was trying to answer anymore.

"Thanks again Fawkes. I'll work it out eventually, I always do."

Harry's despondent tone elicited another uplifting trill from the phoenix that bent his head to rub Harry's cheek before lifting up and flashing away.

"Great! What am I going to do now?"

* * *

><p>The fourth time it happened Harry was actually at the Dursley's, recovering in his room from another night with his uncle. The whistling sound came as a surprise, never having happened while he was at the Dursley's and as the warmth surrounded him, Harry could not help but wonder where he would end up this time.<p>

* * *

><p>The feeling of grass tickling his nose made Harry snap his eyes open before he sighed in relief at not finding himself outside Snape's house once again. No, this time it seemed he'd been transported to the edge of Hogwarts's wards.<p>

The dizziness overwhelmed him for a moment and Harry fell to his knees. It seemed that every time this thing happened it worsened the side effects and Harry feared that if he could not find a way to control it soon, he might one day just not wake up.

He quickly placed an advanced glamour on his back before trudging up to the school.

Madam Pomfrey was very surprised to see him and as Harry explained his situation and his theory about why this was happening, the matron gave a surprised gasp before rushing over to the fireplace and calling Professor McGonagall.

There was a hushed conversation that Harry couldn't hope to follow and a moment later, the Headmistress was stepping through the fire.

"Mr Potter! Good to see you again. Although I had hoped that you would break free of your habit of ending up in the infirmary every second month or so!"

It was an exaggeration but Harry still flushed at the truth of her words.

"From what Madam Pomfrey tells me Mr Potter, it seems you are coming into a magical inheritance. It is very rare indeed that a new phoenix is born but there are enough references to guide us through the next few months."

"Now, now, no need to look so alarmed Mr Potter! You will not just suddenly turn into a phoenix and vanish off the face of the earth. A phoenix is born every couple centuries and although it is transformed from a human, the human – in this case, you – lives out a full and happy life on earth before taking the form of the phoenix permanently after death. It is rumoured that the phoenix lose most of its memories from its human life, otherwise the pain might be too much to bear for such an immortal creature."

Harry was taking in great gulps of air and trying in vain to stop his panic attack. It was all a bit too much for him to take in and his vision darkened until he knew no more.

* * *

><p>After two days of enforced rest in the hospital wing, Harry made his way towards McGonagall's office. The gargoyles opened up for him before he could start guessing at a password and Harry could do no more than give them a grateful smile.<p>

"Ah, Mr Potter. Come in, come in, would you like some tea?"

Harry actually waited for the "Lemon drop" offer before remembering that this was McGonagall and not Dumbledore.

Harry took the tea and sat back with a sigh. Madam Pomfrey had said that the Headmistress would have some answers to his questions and he just hoped that would be the case.

"I know you have a lot of questions Harry, but first drink your tea, I put a mild calming draught in it to keep any panic attacks at bay as this might cause you quite a bit of distress."

Harry wondered if the Headmistress knew that those words probably induced more of a panic attack than what she still had to tell him. Shaking the thoughts from his head, Harry quickly downed the drink before he blacked out again.

"Now, as I told you in the infirmary. A phoenix is born as a human and after he/she dies, they permanently transforms into a phoenix. There is one thing that could cause a human-phoenix's death however and that is the phoenix's mate. Every phoenix has a destined mate while they are human, to help them gain control of their powers and to smooth the transformation into phoenix form the first time. While a human-phoenix can still take the form of a phoenix, it is not permanent and they usually spend most of their times as human as it is the most comfortable form while containing human emotions and thoughts. A phoenix's mind, while not quite as advanced as that of a human, is more complex and most prefer to stay human while they can."

Harry nodded to show he understood as McGonagall paused in her explanation.

"What you are experiencing now is the mating call. It is your phoenix form reaching out to your mate or if it can't find your mate, to wherever you know you are safe – whether from magical attacks or another form doesn't matter. The first time it happened, you were out in the open and since there are still Death Eaters at large, your phoenix form transported you back into the safety of the blood wards at the Dursley's. The same thing happened the second time. The third time, I'm not certain why it decided on Severus's place and not your relatives…

Were you having a disagreement with them before you went to the park?"

Harry thought about it and had to shake his head. No, he had not argued with anybody that day but on the other hand, he had a lashing the previous evening so maybe his subconscious – or rather, his phoenix form – decided not to send him back there.

That his phoenix side sent him to Snape did not come as a huge surprise. He trusted the man more than he did most other people and it made sense that he ended up there.

"Well, we'll figure that out later. The last time it brought you here as you've always viewed Hogwarts as your home and you feel safe here. I must warn you though Mr Potter, it will get progressively worse and happen more often."

Harry nodded again but could not help but wish that the Headmistress would come to a point, specifically, the point about him having a _mate!_

"As I've said, you have a mate and your phoenix form is trying to find him/her. The recorded cases of a phoenix's birth all come to the same conclusion – if you do not find your mate within the first year, you will suffer a great depression and eventually just fade away. There's been one recorded case of a human-phoenix dying before he could transform into his phoenix form the first time and thus he died as both human and phoenix. Another case, the phoenix found her mate a month before the end of her first year as human-phoenix and she was able to transform into a phoenix just before the end of that year and lived a happy and full life with her mate. Her autobiography indicates that the last few months, before she found her mate was excruciating and she could barely move when she eventually found her mate."

Harry looked down at his shaking hands. This was what was happening to him! If he did not find his mate he would first be in utter agony until eventually even the pain didn't matter and he simply faded away.

"I will give you the book "Destined to Fade" written by the best friend of the phoenix who died before he could find his mate and transform the first time. It will give you an idea of what to expect and might help to give you the determination to find your mate."

The smile he gave McGonagall was strained but he gave her a soft "Thank you" before leaving.

* * *

><p><em>The dizziness stopped after the third month but was replaced by what he described as a piercing pain through his heart. The nausea continued and by the fourth month he was nothing but an emaciated form. Nothing of the proud and strong man I had known since pre-school was left. The pain intensified every week that he searched without success for his mate. I could do nothing to help him, no pain potion worked and no medication we smuggled from muggle establishments helped. By the sixth month we were at our wits' end. We had exhausted all our resources and could only conclude that he had either not met his mate yet, or if he had, the mate hated him and would never accept him as a mate.<em>

Harry blinked as his vision blurred but he shook his head quickly and refocused on the story.

_The nausea did eventually let up a bit, by the eighth month, he could barely stomach any food and looked like a skeleton. We were getting desperate and he even made me swore to kill him if it ever came to the point where he could not function by himself – needing help to use the facilities and such. It was a great relief when he asked me one morning to bring him a bowl of porridge and it actually stayed down. After that, he only got nauseous when he ate meat so we stuck to fruit, vegetables and carbohydrates._

Harry made a mental note about that in case he ever got to that stage.

_We eventually worked out why his phoenix form kept sending him to the wizarding pub in Whales. His mate was someone at the pub, either a regular customer or maybe a worker or the owner. By the time we figured this out however, he only had one month left and we had no idea exactly who his mate was._

_I like to think that he did find out who his mate was, even though it was too late by then and that he just did not want to tell them because he knew he would soon die and did not want his mate to go through that heartache._

The romantic notion caused a sniffle but Harry was not a girl and he refused to cry over such sentimentalities.

Harry heard his uncle's lumbering footsteps in the hallway and quickly hid the book under his mattress before lying back and feigning sleep.

Although it would not save him from his uncle if he came to deliver some kind of punishment, it would definitely help in lessening any cause his uncle might search out for as an excuse if he did not come in with the purpose of inflicting punishment.

"Come boy, your aunt has fallen asleep and I am frustrated."

* * *

><p>Harry had settled into Grimmauld place at long last. He was at last rid of his relatives and could spend the remaining few months of his life in relative peace.<p>

The familiar whistling was louder this time and Harry wondered if there was any significance to the fact. The warmth that surrounded him filled his heart and Harry felt a smile tug at his lips before blackness overtook him.

Waking up on a grass field was nothing new but Harry could not help but sigh as he took in the shabby looking house in front of him.

There was something significant that tried to impress on his mind but Harry just could not place exactly what it was he was missing.

Not wanting a repeat performance of the last time he found himself at the man's door, Harry turned around to hail the night bus.

"Mr Potter! What are you doing loitering outside my property? I told you before; you are not welcome here so if you please, remove your infernal presence from my property immediately."

The stab of pain through his heart was exactly as the book described it, excruciating! Harry fell to his knees in front of Snape's gate and could just make out the swish of a robe before his world went black.

* * *

><p>"…telling you Poppy, I will not be blamed for this!"<p>

Harry recognised Snape's voice immediately and the memory of his last conscious moments returned to him. _Wonderful! I black out right in front of Snape. As if he needed more ammunition to humiliate me._

A gasp of pain escaped him as the pain stabbed through his heart again.

The other two occupants turned to him at the sound and Madam Pomfrey handed him a glass of water before running diagnostic spells over him.

"Well, Mr Potter, it seems like your second form took over again but luckily this time it took you to Professor Snape who brought you here as soon as you passed out."

Harry refrained from telling her that he passed out before he even knew he was heading to Snape or that he passed out a second time because he had progressed toward the next phase.

"I have filled Professor Snape in on your situation and he has agreed to keep an eye on you. You are required to check in with Professor Snape every Monday morning and fill him in on any new developments. This decision was reached after conversing with Minerva and she and I both agree that this is the best course of action for you.

You will keep a civil tongue when around Professor Snape and I will not have you blaming him for this. Am I clear?"

Harry had seldom seen the Matron with such a fierce disposition and could only stare at her with a dazed expression while he nodded.

"I will not have you ruining my days Mr Potter. You will arrive at my house promptly at 08:00 every Monday morning and you will take your leave as soon as my examination of your situation is over. Clear?"

"Yes sir." Harry said softly while rubbing his aching chest.

* * *

><p>The truth of his situation did not come as a big surprise, rather it came with a resigned disappointment of what this meant for him.<p>

The feeling of missing something important had not faded once and now that Harry knew what that missing piece was, he did not know how to deal with the matter.

Although his situation was not as bad as Christopher's – the phoenix of "Destined to Fade" – he knew that no matter what, his position would not improve.

The stabbing pain in his heart was a constant reminder of the hatred that lay between him and his mate. Snape had not mellowed one bit since retirement, in fact, his disposition had only worsened and Harry squished every last spark of hope that wanted to ignite in his heart. He knew better than to expect a miracle to happen – especially to him.

"Come now Mr Potter, must you be so melodramatic. You still have a month left to find your mate and thus force the members of our fine wizarding community to endure your presence for the foreseeable future and a month of wasting my time with problems I had not signed up for."

No matter how many times the man put him down; the pain always seemed to intensify with every hateful word inflicted on him. Even just a year ago, such vicious words would have flowed down his back, now each and every one of them was a nail in his coffin.

He knew there was nothing he could do or say that would change the man's opinion of him so Harry decided on a truthful answer.

"Maybe you'll get lucky sir, and I will die before I can find my mate and have him/her acknowledge the bond. You will forever be free of my 'infernal' presence."

Harry turned around as soon as he finished speaking, not wanting the man to see his pain.

"Good day sir, I'll see you again next week."

There was no acknowledgement of his greeting and Harry softly closed the door behind him before sliding down to the ground.

It was getting harder and harder to leave the man's presence and Harry feared that one of these days Snape would figure it all out and Harry shuddered to think of what would happen if he did.

* * *

><p>The last month before his birthday was worse than he could have ever imagined. He could scarcely breathe and had to fight his magic tooth and nail against transporting him to Snape.<p>

Harry met him every Monday morning at Spinner's end as agreed and every time, without fail, the man would let loose a vicious string of words that caused Harry to fall into a deep depression.

His uncle had been telling him since he was a baby that no-one could ever love a freak like him. That he would one day die alone while others rejoiced his passing. Snape was enforcing every single one of those beliefs and Harry bit back a sob as he made his final journey to the man's house.

He was certain that he would not be here to make the journey again the following week. Even if he crumbled now and spilled the beans, there was not enough time to get passed the hatred and vindictiveness to ensure that he successfully transformed into a phoenix before his birthday in two days.

"By Merlin Potter, I did not think it possible for you to look worse! You keep on exceeding my expectations. Next week you might actually master the Zombi look."

Harry gave a tired sigh as he squeezed passed Snape. He did not have the energy to feel anything today. Not pain, not hatred, nothing.

The session went exactly the same as it had for the past seven months.

His mouth it seemed, had a mind of its own.

"If you had been just a bit less of a bastard, I may actually have survived this you know. I have no idea why it's you but apparently my phoenix form is a masochist. Do you know, when I first realised, I actually had a small bit of hope of actually surviving. Not to worry, it has sufficiently been squashed since then. What would it have been like, I wonder? To have someone love me and look after me for the first time that I can remember? It would have been nice, I think. Nice to know that I'm not really the freak my uncle always said I was. To know that there would always be someone to come home to after a long day of work where I could just relax and be taken care of. It has always been a dream of mine, did you know that?"

As Harry's voice faded away on the last sentence, so did his body. It was a slow process but by the time the stoic man processed everything Harry told him, it was too late.

Looking down at his hands, Severus was surprised to feel tears falling on his fingers – not because he was crying but because it should have fallen on Harry.

Harry was not there anymore though and only the echo of his words remained as Severus crumbled to his knees.

**End of Destined to Fade**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:**Not the same destiny

**Summary:**Waking up on a grass field was nothing new. Waking up at all after believing himself to be dead, was.

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter. Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

**Warnings:**Spoilers for all the books. Mention of slash pairing. Creature!Harry. Reference to non-con and paedophilia

**Warnings for this chapter (the sequel):**Mention of non-con and paedophilia. Slash pairing, Creature!Harry, Top!Severus, bottom!Harry

**Not the same destiny**

Waking up on a grass field was nothing strange to Harry. Waking up after resigning himself to an inevitable death, however, was.

There was a distant echo of a knock before a feeling of déjavu overcame him.

He could hear the scraping of a chair and soft footfalls before the door was wrenched open with a disgruntled _What!_

Severus Snape stood in the doorframe and Harry could only lie there and gape. He looked exactly as he did the first time Harry saw him when his phoenix side decided to deliver him to his mate's doorstep.

Not knowing exactly what was going on but realising that this was even more bizarre than what he had experienced thus far, Harry promptly fainted.

* * *

><p>Hushed voices whispering fervently together woke him up and Harry blearily looked around. He was in the hospital wing. <em>Am I not supposed to be dead?<em>a cynical voice in the back of his head piped up.

Memories slowly returned to him and Harry wondered if one of a phoenix's unknown powers was the power to manipulate time. It would really not surprise him – who knew exactly where a phoenix came from when it suddenly appeared in front of you? For all he knew, the Fawkes he spoke to last year – what he thought was last year – might have come from ten years back or even ten years in the future. Phoenixes didn't age; they grew old in human years, died a burning death but then rose again from the ashes. He had read somewhere that the longer a phoenix had been around, the darker their plumage would be but for a phoenix to go from a vibrant red plumage to a deep maroon took thousands of years.

No one could possibly know the difference of Fawkes now, and the Fawkes of fifty years ago.

It was a thought that Harry would really have to research as it had a potential to be very dangerous in the wrong hands.

"Well now, Mr Potter, I had hoped not to see you again so soon after school ended! If you missed me, you should have simply made a firecall."

The cheeky expression on Madam Pomfrey's face was a contrast to the worried look in her eyes.

"Can you tell us exactly what happened Mr Potter? Professor Snape said he heard a knock on his door but when he opened it he found you lying on the ground. One moment you were looking at him with bewilderment and the next you passed out."

Her words confirmed one thing for Harry – this Madam Pomfrey did not know of his status as a magical creature, much less that he was a phoenix.

If he had indeed travelled back in time, Harry wondered why this happened and what he was supposed to do now. The obvious answer was that he was supposed to change things but how?

"Er.. well, I'm not exactly sure what happened Madam Pomfrey."

Harry wondered if he should just leave it at that or if he should tell her the truth as he had the first time around. This time the only difference was that he already knew what he was and what was causing him to wake up in different places.

Deciding that the truth would eventually come out and that no real harm had come from revealing everything the first time around, Harry started telling them of the first and second time this strange phenomenon happened to him.

He included that he had done a bit of research and found that he was a human-phoenix and that his magic was trying to bring him closer to his mate in order for him to gain control over his powers and eventually be able to transform. His knowledge on the subject seemed to surprise them but Harry was too weary, too tired to take any pleasure in surprising his Professor – his mate.

Although he had already acknowledged that Snape was his mate, his heart had not yet processed exactly what this meant and what this second chance could mean. There was a flare of hope that wanted to ignite in his heart but Harry squashed it out as he had so many times before.

"Other than the fact that you have a new status in society, you are right as rain and allowed to vacate my hospital wing. If I see you again within two months Mr Potter, you had better have a very good excuse. I do not know why you keep insisting on landing yourself in my care."

Harry smiled widely at the matron and saluted her as he jumped off the bed. Grabbing his wand off the side-table, Harry bid them both a farewell and made his way to the edge of the wards to hail the night bus.

_Maybe this time around I should actually go for my apparition test…_Harry mused to himself as he waited for his transport to arrive.

* * *

><p>Severus Snape stirred the potion he was creating for an order that 'Slug and Jiggers' had placed. His hands were steady and the motions smooth even as his mind was in turmoil.<p>

His freedom after the final battle had come as a huge shock; the compensation the ministry granted him for his service for the light was something that went beyond his wildest dreams. He now had the ability and the funds to do anything he could possible want. He could open his own apothecary or he could invest in some promising businesses. There were a lot of options that had opened up to him since his trial at the beginning of the summer.

One thing he had refused to acknowledge though was how this had all been made possible.

Harry Potter.

The name brought a sneer to his face even as he thought of all the young man had accomplished in life. There was something to be said for foolish Gryffindors – they rarely, if ever, gave up.

A deep sorrow filled him suddenly and he almost lost his momentum with his stirring.

_What in Merlin's name was that?_

* * *

><p>Harry had decided that he was going to make the most of this second chance he had been granted. Okay, he may not go so far as to actually confront his mate or tell him that he already knew who his mate was and wanted desperately to know if there could possibly be a chance for them to work it out. No, what he was going to do was enjoy his last few months on earth in a way he had not the first time around.<p>

Rummaging through his closet, Harry came to the depressing realisation that he owned absolutely nothing that would be acceptable in any muggle society. His robes always covered his cousin's cast offs and at school he really hadn't cared what people thought of him.

A visit to Gringotts was in order and from there he would descend on the muggle shopping district for some appropriate clothes.

The last time Harry had ventured into Diagon Alley was when his phoenix side transported him back to his aunt and uncle's place. After that, he had refused to go into any wizarding area except Hogwarts.

Well-wishers and fans surrounded him as soon as they recognised who he was and Harry had a hard time fending them off.

As he entered Gringotts, he breathed a sigh of relief as the guards stopped the mob of people following him.

He drew a lot of money, not wanting to have to return here and face that crowd again and exchanged 500 pounds worth of muggle money.

A goblin pointed him toward the floo as Harry tried to ready himself for the crowd of fans waiting for him. Giving the goblin a relieved smile, Harry hurried over to the fire place and flooed to the Leaky Cauldron where he quickly made his exit into muggle London.

* * *

><p>The leather trousers might have been a bit much, Harry decided as he dodged what must have been the sixth time someone tried to grab his bum.<p>

The club he found himself in was a hectic, noisy place. Not having ever been in such a place before, Harry was yet to decide if he liked it or not. The writhing bodies on the dance floor were certainly eliciting a positive response from his body but the noise and constant grabbing of his backside was getting to him.

A pale blonde man gave him an appreciative look and Harry blushed as he took the proffered glass from the bartender. Nodding his head in thanks to the blonde, Harry turned his attention back to the dance floor.

The blonde settled himself next to Harry and they chatted a while about everyday things but when the man started to advance a bit further, Harry heard the now dreaded whistling starting in his ears.

Spouting a quick excuse about needing the loo, Harry dashed into the toilets and an empty stall just in time to find his vision blacking out.

* * *

><p>"You certainly are full of surprises, aren't you Mr Potter?"<p>

The silky voice could belong to no other than his mate and Harry had to stop his instinctive reaction to reach out for what he needed – contact with his mate.

"First your creature side decides to transport here because apparently you feel 'safe' here but do not think that I will believe that for a second time. Hogwarts is just as well protected and has always been a home to you so I'll ask once, why is it that you've ended up here for a second time and why in Merlin's name are you dressed like that!"

Harry blinked down at his clothes and blushed as he remembered where he had been before his phoenix side transported him here.

"Er.. well, no reason sir."

"That is the most abysmal answer I've ever heard from you. Which question exactly were you trying to answer with that?"

Harry mentally kicked himself for his idiotic answer but for some or other reason, he just could not think up a reasonable excuse. His heart and mind were fighting with each other over which course of action to take – his heart desperately wanted to tell his mate all he knew while his head kept interfering with damning evidence as to why it would be a bad idea.

His mate hated him, that, Harry had already learned and come to accept the first time around. There was no need to open up that box again; Snape had nailed it quite sufficiently once already.

"I was out at a muggle club tonight, hoping to enjoy the evening as I do not know how many of those I have left."

"Oh please Mr Potter, spare us your drama. I am certain the Potter luck will hold out once again and you will find your mate in time, learn to control your powers and live happily ever after. Do please try and get a male as you mate Potter, we do not want another generation of Potters to darken the halls of Hogwarts."

Harry wondered if there was any significance to the fact that once again, the second phase started just as his mate was verbally cutting him down.

His vision blurred but Harry found one significant difference in this situation that did not happen before; this time Snape actually caught him.

* * *

><p>The room he was in was not familiar to him. Sitting up slowly and reaching out to feel if his glasses were near, Harry was very thankful to feel their familiar frames on the bedside table and quickly put them on.<p>

"Madam Pomfrey expressed her wishes and opinions very clearly the last time you were there Potter so I did not feel it necessary to transfer you there. I am quite capable of handling your situation now that I am abreast with it."

Harry said nothing and only watched as Snape moved from the corner he'd been lurking in to present him a potion's bottle.

"Drink! It is a calming draught with a nutrition potion mixed in".

A slow smirk crossed the man's features as Harry drank the concoction down.

"There might also be a mild truth potion in it."

Harry's horrified look seemed to brighten the man's day even more.

* * *

><p>When Severus had first decided to trick the brat into drinking a truth potion, he thought only of what good it would do their situation. Potter was a nervous wreck around him – something that was completely foreign when encountering the boy and he refused to answer Severus's questions.<p>

Thus, the need for the truth potion.

What he had not expected however was that the truth was even more terrible than what his twisted mind had conjured.

Potter's fight with his phoenix's side, his battle against his own magic and his will to be a burden onto no one but himself shook Severus to the core.

That Potter had died – or at least thought he did – while keeping all of this bottled up only to spill his secrets at the last minute was not something that Severus would have ever thought possible of the boy. He was a Gryffindor, he was brash, hard-headed and most of all, he never gave up.

It was blatantly evident to Severus that Potter had indeed given up – given up on him, on Severus.

Having to find out that you are solely responsible for an innocent's death was a troubling revelation. Sure, the boy did not actually die but that was just because fate apparently had not played with it's favourite toy for long enough yet.

The heart wrenching scene Potter had described of his dying moments flitted through Severus's mind and he held his head in his hands.

Potter's memory of the past two hours had been erased – Severus knew that above all, Potter valued trust the most and this was a breach like no other.

Severus now only had to decide what to do with this new information.

* * *

><p>The whole Snape fiasco as Harry had called it blew over quickly and he found himself once again enjoying his freedom.<p>

The club was becoming something of a nightly ritual for him and although he did not dance or mingle with the people there, there was something about the atmosphere in the club that sang to his defeated spirit and lifted him into the plains above.

His eyes swept the club, looking with appreciation at the well toned muscles some of the men's clothing showed. After a minute of gazing around, Harry swivelled his head back again and saw the smirking face of his mate. The man was dressed in black – obviously – but instead of billowing robes, his clothes were moulded to his body and Harry swallowed hard.

A waved hand indicated that Snape wanted him to join him and Harry downed the rest of his drink, knowing that he would need the liquid courage for this confrontation.

* * *

><p>The young man was dressed just as finely as when he had appeared on Severus's lawn. Skin tight black leather pants with a dark green silk shirt enhanced his muscles and Severus could not blame the men and woman who reached out to grab a hold of his fine ass.<p>

"Mr Potter, I do not believe I have ever seen you so relaxed. How much have you had to drink already?"

There was no blush or stutter tonight, Potter was in his element here and he simply replied with a raised eyebrow.

"That is certainly none of your business Snape. I enjoy coming here and as I am both of age and no longer a student of yours, I do not believe that you can do anything about it."

"Oh, but I do Mr Potter. If I am to help you control your power you will need to learn some respect as I will be your anchor and tutor."

If the brat could not figure out by now that Severus knew he was his mate, then all his vicious name calling of idiot, worthless and incompetent brat actually had truth to it.

Potter was not the idiot Severus always took him for however and the young man looked him straight in the eye and simply asked "How?"

"How? Does not matter Potter. The fact is that I know and that I have decided to accept this as my responsibility. I am your mate and thus your only hope in surviving your next birthday. Do not mistake this as pity Potter! I do not wish to become a murderer after you have worked so hard to exonerate me in the past. If you die Potter, it will be because of me and that I cannot abide by."

The scathing look Potter wanted to send him when he first thought Severus was doing this out of pity now morphed into a look of combined realisation and resignation.

Severus had a feeling that something he'd said hurt the man but he could not place his finger on what it was.

"Come Potter, even though I do enjoy writhing bodies, I much prefer my men to solely focus on me."

A delightful blush surfaced on Potter's face and Severus smirked in triumph.

* * *

><p>The past month was a dream come true for Harry. He spent most of his time at spinners end and although Snape was still a bastard, he had reigned in his tongue a bit and only cut Harry's self-esteem down when he felt it was actually deserved.<p>

Once again, Harry had been overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that Snape could teach him. Apparently, gaining control of his power involved meditation so that he could look deep inside himself and grasp his magical core where he now, painstakingly, everyday tied a piece of it to his phoenix form which he found was literally fused with his being. If he did not tie his magical core to his phoenix form, his phoenix form – fused with his body – would die with his human body as there was no magic to help it transform.

There were two months left before his birthday and Harry could not help but marvel at the difference in who he was now compared to who he was before the 'time travelling'.

One thing Harry could have done without however was the constant hard on he sported whenever his mate was near him. He knew, from all the books he read that they did not need to develop a sexual relationship for him to survive like many other creatures did.

Knowing that intellectually and knowing it in your heart were two different things however.

His heart and most recently his mind as well, was screaming at him to stop being a fool and to tell his mate that he wanted to try an actual relationship with him.

Gathering his dwindling courage, Harry approached the man who was busy reading a potions journal.

"Er… Excuse me sir."

"What now Mr Potter?"

Even though the words were short, Harry could see that the man was not really irritated with him.

Those lips drew his eyes and Harry felt his pulse quicken but before he could make an utter fool of himself, he quickly said "N…nothing sir, ss…sorry sir." And turned around to scramble back to his side of the room.

A hand on his arm stopped him cold and Harry looked into the dark eyes of his mate.

"You wanted to say something Potter. I could see it burning in your eyes but then you got distracted. Tell me Potter, do you find me attractive? Do you find my lips fascinating? Do you even realise that you fairly scream sexual frustration every day you are here and that you watch me more than you concentrate on your meditation. Do you even realise that you're leaning into me? That you're basically begging me for a kiss?"

Harry's breath sped up and his eyes dilated with every word Snape said, not that Harry heard the words but that voice was doing things to him that he could not explain.

Lips brushed his softly and Harry was embarrassed to hear a small sound escaping him even as strong arms crushed him to a solid chest.

Reason flew out the window as Harry found himself in his mate's embrace and he fairly ripped his nails into Snape's shirt.

"Oh, you are a feisty one aren't you Potter. How close are you hmmm? How many pulls on that delicious hot flesh would it take to send you over the edge? Two, three strokes?"

A hot hand cupped him through his jeans and Harry gasped into the mouth ravishing his as he came in his pants.

"That was embarrassingly quick Potter, I will endeavour to teach you stamina."

Harry did not have the energy to feel affronted and he gave a little sigh as he buried himself deeper into the strong chest.

* * *

><p>Severus felt for the first time in his life that he had truly accomplished something great. It was an even better feeling than when he had received his Mastership in potions – for that was something that numerous other people had also succeeded in before and after him.<p>

No, what Severus felt actual pride in was to see Harry Potter celebrating his birthday with his friends and colleagues. Knowing that this was not the original outcome of this day still caused Severus a certain amount of shame – as he alone was to blame for the first outcome but this, this birthday and the smile on Potter's face was a true gift and an accomplishment he could take pride in.

The fact that right after this party he and Harry would have their own little party caused Severus to shift in his seat with anticipation.

Harry was a very responsive lover and although they had not had intercourse yet, Severus had given and received pleasure enough times to know that he would wait however long it took and it would not be a hardship for him.

"Must you sit here and brood all day Severus? It's a party and although I know you do not like Mr Potter, do endeavour not to ruin it for him!"

Severus turned to look at Minerva and smirked at her. "Who said I did not like Mr Potter, Minerva? Who do you think is responsible for getting him through to this day? Who do you think helped him to control his powers and make that first transformation?"

The sputtering of his one-time colleague caused him to chuckle and he turned away from her before she could demand any details.

* * *

><p>"Hmmmm, yes, oh just like that, hmmmm"<p>

Severus chucked at the incoherent mumbling as he settled himself on top of Harry.

"You looked absolutely ravishing today Mr Potter. I had to control myself not to rip those blasted Weasley's hands off as they groped you. You're a little tease Mr Potter but remember one thing…"

Severus paused here to make sure Harry was paying attention to his words and not just his voice.

"You're MINE! I do not share and I do not take kindly to those who try to take what is mine."

Harry looked up at him and the vulnerability in his gaze was precious to Severus.

"I want you Harry. I am your mate and just as I am yours, you are mine! Do you understand? I have come to… care… for you Harry and I will not let all my efforts go to waste."

A smile blossomed on Harry's face and he leaned up to kiss Severus.

"I understand S..Severus – is it alright if I call you that? I've wanted this for a long time. Wanted someone who wanted me and would care for me – I will not give you any reason to throw this away."

"Yes, brat, you may call me Severus, or sir, whichever is preferable." The wicked smirk on his face conveyed to the young man exactly which his preference was.

"Are you a virgin Harry?"

Quick as lightning the mood changed and Severus had no idea why.

* * *

><p><em>Oh Merlin, oh no, what now? What should I do? What should I say? He said he didn't want to share me. He said I am his and no one else's. What's going to happen when he realise that I already belong to someone? What's he going to do when he realise that I'm broken goods?<em>

* * *

><p>The panic in those green eyes was not something Severus expected. What was going through Harry's mind now? Why was he freaking out?<p>

"Harry, Harry! If you're not ready for this step then it's fine, I will never force myself on you. I have never and will never condone rape. If you tell me to stop, I'll stop. Do you understand?"

Harry's breathing evened out and Severus waited patiently for him to compose himself.

"I'm not, er, it's not. I'm not a virgin sir. Haven't been for a very long time."

Severus froze as the young man's voice betrayed his true feelings.

"Harry, look at me."

"Did someone force you? Did someone take you against your will?"

The soft 'yes' broke Severus's composure and he pulled the young man against him.

"Hush, it's alright. We'll work through this. You'll be alright. I will not do anything you don't want me to do. I will not force you Harry, I give you my word."

"I know Severus. I believe you and it's not that I'm not ready or that I need to work through what had happened. I've done that, I know that what he did was wrong and that there was nothing I could do. The thing is, I'm not only yours. I was his first, I belonged to him but you said you do not share so now I can't be with you and I don't know what to do…"

Severus went through a mental list of curses he could inflict on whoever did this to Harry. To make him think that he could never belong with someone else. To make him think that he would never fit in anywhere else and would always be seen as used goods made his blood boil.

"Come now Mr Potter, do you really think so little of yourself and of me? Are you here with me now or are you with that bastard? Who did you choose to go home with tonight? Who is with you now when you need the support? Pull yourself together and we will discuss this like civilised adults."

Even though the words were harsh, Severus kept his tone gentle and he coaxed Harry into a sitting position.

"I told you that I do not share – what I mean with that is that I will never invite anyone else into our sexual relationship and expect the same courtesy from you. I will not tolerate anyone placing a hand on you unless it is a hug from a close friend. You and I belong together and as such, we ARE together – are we not? We can make this relationship work if we both fight for it."

Green eyes stared at him for a long time before a small smile graced Harry's features.

Severus was not prepared for the young man to throw himself at him and devour his mouth. Quickly turning them around, Severus growled as he grabbed Harry's hands and held them above his head in a tight grip.

"I will show you just how much I want you here and will make you want for nothing and no one else."

A soft mewl was his answer and Severus proceeded to show Harry just how much he had come to mean to him and how much he was cared for.

* * *

><p>The phoenix flying above the mansion gave a low trill and Severus looked up to see his bond-mate land on the ground in front of them. As he was Harry's mate and as the two were already in an established relationship, Severus had asked Harry to marry him six months after his birthday, they were bonded a month later.<p>

"You look magnificent in that form, as always."

Severus rarely gave praise but Harry did not pester him to bestow more affection and endearments on him than he saw fit. Harry was someone who truly understood him and cared for him like no one else.

"Thank you Severus."

Harry placed a chaste kiss on his lips but before the brat could pull away, Severus grabbed him around the waist and pulled him into his lap where he proceeded to ravish him.

The emotions swirling in those green eyes always took his breath away and Severus felt that he would not live long enough to deserve it, even if he reached the ripe old age of 200.

"I love you Severus"

They had never said the words before and Severus was in too much shock to do anything but stare straight ahead.

Harry placed a soft kiss on his forehead and as Severus struggled to clear his throat Harry said "I know" and walked into their new home.

**End of Not the same Destiny**

There was a suggestion that I write a sequel and I decided to do so. Hope you liked it!

The feeling of sorrow Severus experienced near the beginning of this story was an 'echo' of what the other Severus experienced on Harry's death.


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